1. Nicknames
- If Janet, Anne, and Louise go out for lunch, they will call each other Janet, Anne, and Louise
- If John, Mike, and George go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dick Head, and Shit for Brains
2. Eating Out
- When the bill arrives, John, Mike and, George will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $37,5. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back
- When the girls get their bill, out come the iPhone calculators
3. Money
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but is on sale
4. Bathrooms
- A man has 8 items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, shaving foam, razor, aftershave, and a towel
- The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 327. A man would not be able to identify more than 25 of these items.
5. Arguments
- A woman has the last word in any argument
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
6. Future
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
7. Success
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
- A successful woman is one that marries such a man
8. Marriage
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
- A man marries a woman hoping that she won't change, but she does
9. Dressing up
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, answer the phone, empty the trash, read a book, water the plants and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for the weddings and funerals
10. Night transforming
- Men wake up as good looking as they go to bed
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night
11. Offspring
- A woman knows all about her children: their favorite foods, their friends' names, their homework, their hopes, and secret fears
- A man is vaguely aware of some short creatures living in the house
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